Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Rolie Polie Olie.

Ellie is obsessed with a kids TV show called Rolie Polie Olie. She doesn't care for Television so much but when she's all restless and getting grumpy, I can stick this on and she will happily sit there all day watching it. I'm so glad I have found something for her to do while I tidy up and do housework. Making her bottles with her on my hip was a task and a half. She's such a little sook, always wanting me to hold her, always wanting me to snuggle and play 24/7. Other people can't pick her up unless she can see me standing there or she will just whine until I come and get her. I kind of like it secretly, it makes me feel loved hehe. 
I took this photo of Ellie when she was on the couch watching Rolie Polie Olie on the couch. Honestly the cutest thing ever and if you talk when it's on... you're in trouble! 

Tuesday, 28 August 2012





"6 days over due. Today I had reduced movements so I went to hospital to see if everything was okay with Ellie. She is perfectly fine, (THANK GOD) although they decided that there is no point keeping her in any longer as I'm already past my due date and it was like we would just be waiting for something bad to happen. So they scheduled me in to be induced tomorrow.. I'm crapping myself! I really wanted to have a water birth but I guess it will be best for Ellie this way. I really can't wait to meet her and see what she looks like, I already love her so much. Hopefully it's a quick, easy peasy birth :)"


"Ahh! Today is the day!! It's 8.30am and we are on our way to get induced, I could have my baby today! WOOHOO.. I'm so scared though, I hate the idea of not knowing what's going to happen and I'm so rubbish with needles and stuff, I just want it all over and done with so I can finally hold my baby."

HA! Easy peasy?! Was anything but.. I got a pessary put inside me to kick-start labour. I was told it could take all day and I'd maybe need another put in the next day. It hurt so bad putting it in, I had to have gas and air. (I'm such a wimp!) Time was going so slow and nothing felt different. I was so hyper and just wanted to run around but I was stuck in a ward with 6 other pregnant women. All the curtains were drawn at each bed except from mine but I managed to have a peak at all the ladies. They were all a lot older than me so it was strange being there. I had my boyfriend Patrick to keep me company but he was getting bored too as each hour dragged on. I got an ultra sound at 12noon to check babies heartbeat and make sure everything was still going according to plan. She was facing the right way and was far down so it seemed like everything was running smoothly, we just had to wait for her to want to come out. By 1pm one of the ladies started labour and was wheeled off to have her baby. The rest of us were just looking, wishing it was us. I spent the next few hours laying in bed talking to Patrick about Ellie. Asking how he though she would look, how big she'd be, if she'd be cute, who she would look like more etc. I was so excited, not scared one bit. 3.45pm came and there was only three other women left in the ward. One lady already had a daughter called Ellie so we had a laugh that I was calling my daughter Ellie too. She didn't know what she was having this time round and she was happy to keep it a surprise. Her name was Carol and she was 32. Quite a large lady with short brown hair. Her waters had broken the night before so she was getting fairly impatient. The other lady was called Lynn, she was a tall, thin, blonde lady. She was 29. They were both shocked to hear that I was only 17. They both had a laugh and said they thought that I would be the next to be whisked off. They were right, as soon as I had finished my egg salad, I stood up and suddenly was overwhelmed with pain. I looked at Patrick and I waddled over clutching my stomach. He asked if I was alright and I said I had to go for a walk, so we walked around a little bit. That made things worse, I was in a lot of pain. I couldn't walk a few steps without having to stop and control the pain with my breathing. Patrick called for one of the midwives to come  have a look at me. She asked if she could check how far dilated I was. I didn't like the sound of this as the last time she checked, it hurt. It got to the point where I didn't care anymore. I grabbed the gas and air and let her check. She smiled at me and said, "Gem you're 5cm!" It was time for me to go along and have my waters broken. I was so tired and in a lot of pain by this point. When I got to the room that I would be giving birth to Ellie in, I suddenly felt scared. They saw how much pain I was in and reccomended I had the epidural. I really was against this and I didn't want it but at that moment in time, I was willing to have ANY kind of pain relief. Once I got the epidural and it started to kick in, I felt so much better. I could sit up on the bed without having any pain at all! Although I had so much gas and air, I threw up a couple times. Every 15 minutes they would check with an ice cube and run it up my legs to my chest to make sure the epidural was still working. I had a button to press everytime I needed more. My midwife was amazing and I really liked her. I had to have an IV line in each hand and I was hooked up to a drip because I got a fever during labour. They decided it was crucial to get Ellie out me ASAP as she could get the fever and would be really ill. I hadn't slept a wink but it was shift swap for my midwife and a student nurse came in. I was away with the fairies, I literally had no idea what was going on. I was asking random questions and everyone was laughing and making jokes because I had no idea what I was saying. It was quickly time to push and Patrick was fast asleep so they woke him up. He came and stood beside me and held my hand. I pushed, but nothing happened. The student told me to stop.. then she said, "Push... hold it, hold it, hold it..." I couldn't feel a thing. I didn't know if I was pushing but I tried my hardest. Nothing was happening and I was exhausting myself pushing. The student and her assigned midwife left the room and the next thing I knew there was 4-5 doctors/nurses in the room. An Asian man started fiddling with things on a table and I was being fanned by a midwife. Another opened all the windows and turned on a fan. I was then told that I had to have a forcep delivery. I instantly burst into tears. I had watched 'One born every minute' all through my pregnancy and that  along with a c-section were the main things I did NOT want to happen. He got the foreceps and suddenly he was pulling Ellie out, he had to cut me open and then contunied to pull her. He was pulling so hard I kept sliding down the bed but I couldn't move my legs or move over.. It was horrible. Still crying I looked at Patrick who was also crying, he said he hated seeing me upset and scared. The pulling continued for atleast 15 minutes when suddenly they pulled out this beautiful pink baby girl and placed her on my chest. She was gorgeous and I fell in love with her right there. She was slimy and gooey. I was already crying but seeing her made me cry even more. They took her back, cleaned her, wrapped her up and let Patrick hold her while I was stitched back up. I forgot all about the fear and the horrible labour I had just been through because having Ellie here, alive and healthy out weighed the bad things. 
08/03/12 10.45am weighing 6 pounds 12 ounces Ellie Norma Sword was born. 

After everything was cleaned up and I was moved onto a proper bed, Ellie was placed in my arms and we were wheeled through to our ward where 4 other mums were with their babies. I was so exhausted but I couldn't sleep because all I could think about was keeping Ellie safe, making sure she warm enough etc. I really wanted to breast feed but Ellie was having trouble latching on so we decided to bottle feed instead. It was time to change her first poopy nappy but my legs were still numb from the epidural, I couldn't get up for ages so I felt helpless watching Patrick struggle to clean her up and put on the fresh nappy. I was so scared about being left on my own with her. I still hadn't slept a wink and it was time for Patrick to leave the ward. It was time for me to tackle it alone. I spent the night holding Ellie and just staring at her. The midwives were worried about me and told me I need to get some sleep but I honestly couldn't sleep, not to mention the fact I had a cathiter in for 3 days.. I physically couldn't handle anything and I constantly felt emotional. I spent the whole time in hospital looking at Ellie and constantly checking on her. When my cathiter was removed I felt so much better and I had to learn to walk again! I couldn't walk more than a few steps. My legs felt broken. It took me 2 weeks to be able to walk properly again! 

When we took Ellie home from the hospital, I sat down on the couch and burst into tears. I was so sad and was regretting leaving the hospital. Patrick had to return to work so I'd have to do it all alone. I felt like a bad mum because I was always crying and I didn't want Ellie to feel like it was her fault because it wasn't. I adored her more than anything and still do. I spend the next 3 days once I got out of hospital checking on her all the time, I didn't sleep for 6 days because I didn't want to sleep incase she was sick and choked or something happened. Once I had that first night sleep, everytime she moved, I'd wake up instantly, every little noise woke me for ages. I didn't leave the room without her, she was attatched to me for about the first 3 weeks of her life. Then I got more and more confident letting other people hold her, letting her sleep in her moses basket and not having to stare at her the whole time she was in there. I was able to put her to bed and then fall asleep myself. She was such a good baby. She still is :) 

That was my labour, something I will never forget. Something that I will remember for the rest of my life. 
It was the hardest thing I have ever done but it was completely worth it. I couldn't imagine my life without Ellie, and I wouldn't want too. She's made me a better person and I've grown up so much having her. I'm now 18 and she's still joined at my hip. We do everything together and I adore her every minute of the day.